Postpartum Tips from Moms Who Have Been There
By Layne A. Gritti, DO
With contributions from: Brittany Albright, MD, MPH; Lauren Das, MD; Bridget McLernon Sykes, MSN, FNP-C, PMHNP-BC; Julie Waltman; Paige Walton, MD
Becoming a mother is a life-changing experience filled with joy, challenges, and exhaustion. Navigating the postpartum period can feel overwhelming, especially when you're recovering from childbirth, learning to care for a newborn, and adjusting to a new normal. Below are practical, expert-backed tips from seasoned moms and healthcare professionals to help you through this precious yet challenging stage.
Planning Ahead of the Birth
Before your baby arrives, creating a plan with your healthcare provider can reduce anxiety. Some things to consider include:
Birth and postpartum care plan – Discuss pain management options, emergency procedures, and postpartum mental health support. Early communication of preferences (like requesting skin-to-skin contact) helps align care with your values.
Prepare a postpartum bathroom basket – Stock it with essentials like adult diapers, postpartum pads, and healing sprays to ease recovery.
Therapy – Scheduling therapy in advance, starting around two or three weeks postpartum, can be a proactive way to cope with potential mental health struggles.
Formula – Even if you plan to breastfeed, having formula on hand can prevent stress in an emergency.
Lactation consultant – Research and connect with a lactation consultant before delivery.
Hospital route – Familiarize yourself with the hospital route to avoid added stress during labor.
Remember, you don’t need to have everything perfect before the baby arrives. Babies need love, food, warmth, and a safe place to sleep. Everything else can be figured out as you go.
Lower Your Expectations
During the postpartum period, many of the things you’re used to doing will take a backseat. It’s important to identify what can be set aside for now to reduce stress. For example:
Don’t stress about housework – The mess will reappear, and it’s not worth the stress.
Laundry can wait – Picking clothes from a clean pile works just fine.
Delay projects – This is not the time for major tasks or home improvements.
Use disposable dishware – Paper plates and plastic cutlery minimize clean-up time.
Focus on basic self-care:
Eat – Proper nutrition will keep you energized.
Shower (as needed) – A quick shower, even every couple of days, can help you feel refreshed.
Take care of yourself – Do simple things that make you feel like yourself again. Whether it’s washing your face or doing gentle yoga, prioritize what fills your cup.
Find one hour of "me time" – It may seem pointless in the chaos, but stepping outside for coffee or relaxing alone can work wonders.
Handling Challenging Moments
Postpartum life can be overwhelming, but these strategies may help:
Feeling overwhelmed – If you need a break, put your baby in a safe spot and step away for a few minutes. Brief moments of self-care can restore your energy.
Fights with your partner – Relationship tension is common postpartum. Consider therapy or resources like What About Us?: A New Parents Guide To Safeguarding Your Over-Anxious, Over-Extended, Sleep-Deprived Relationship to help navigate these challenges.
Domestic violence – If you feel unsafe, reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE or text "START" to 88788.
Soothing a fussy baby – Try going outside for a walk. For evening fussiness, consider the “5 S’s” method: Swaddle, Side/Stomach, Shush, Swing, Suck.
Cluster feeding – Growth spurts around 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, and 6 months can lead to frequent feeding. Know that this phase is temporary.
Helpers and Accepting Help
We were never meant to do this alone. Accepting and asking for help is key:
Ask for help – Don’t hesitate to rely on others. From an evolutionary perspective, raising children was always a community effort.
Let others help their way – Even if someone doesn’t care for the baby exactly like you, allow them to help in their own way. It’s beneficial for your baby to experience different caretaking styles.
Set boundaries with unhelpful helpers – People who want to visit without contributing aren’t truly helpful. Feel free to say no to visits from those who cause more stress.
Helpful helper list – Make a list of tasks that others can help with, such as running errands, buying groceries, or cooking meals.
Meal trains – Set up a meal train for months two and three, or consider a meal delivery service.
Sleep: The Non-Negotiable
Sleep deprivation is one of the toughest parts of having a newborn:
Minimum sleep – If you have depression or anxiety, aim for at least 4 consecutive hours of sleep. For bipolar disorder, try for 6.
Sleep shifts – Coordinate with your partner or helper for sleep shifts. This ensures each of you gets uninterrupted rest.
Professional help – If affordable, consider hiring a night doula or nurse.
Active sleep – Babies can be noisy during sleep without actually waking up. Wait a few minutes before intervening to ensure they are truly awake.
Breastfeeding: Do What Works for You
Breastfeeding isn’t always easy, and it’s okay to modify your plan:
Nurse less, use formula – If breastfeeding feels overwhelming, supplement with formula. Your mental health is more important than adhering to a strict breastfeeding schedule.
Painful nursing? – Consider using a nipple shield before giving up.
Demand then supply – Pump after feeding to increase milk supply if you need to store milk for future use.
Other Considerations
C-section recovery – Use a bed sheet tied to the end of the bed to help pull yourself up. Wearing an abdominal binder can aid in healing.
Support groups – Postpartum Support International offers support groups for every type of mom.
Older children – Have someone focus on older siblings while you rest with the baby.
The Newborn Stage Ends—And It Gets Better
Around 4 to 6 months, things start to improve. Remember, you don’t have to enjoy every moment, but try to savor the little good moments and take lots of photos. You’re doing an amazing job.
Postpartum recovery can be difficult, but by prioritizing self-care, asking for help, and letting go of perfection, you’ll navigate this phase with strength and grace.
About the Contributors:
Brittany Albright, MD, MPH | Lauren Das, MD | Bridget McLernon Sykes, MSN, FNP-C, PMHNP-BC | Julie Waltman | Paige Walton, MD are all practicing psychiatrists / nurse practitioners / administrative staff at Sweetgrass Psychiatry in Mount Pleasant, SC and Isle of Palms, SC.