Do you need couples counseling / marriage therapy?
By Charlotte Burlos
Couples counseling is a type of psychotherapy that can help couples with a variety of concerns or areas of stress in their relationship and life. Many areas of a romantic relationship can be confusing or stressful to manage, such as communication, finances, roles, beliefs, emotional and physical intimacy, chronic illness, relationships with family, child rearing, and more. Therapists can help couples build healthy habits and skills with one another, increasing relationship satisfaction and functionality of the relationship and family.
There are a variety of techniques and research that exist in regards to couples counseling and relationships. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), developed by Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg, is a type of therapy that focuses on attachment in adult relationships. The three stages of EFT are de-escalation, restructuring, and consolidation– these stages are focused on strengthening the couple’s attachment bond, sharing emotions with acceptance and compassion, and practicing new and positive interactions. This type of therapy can improve the couple’s emotional functioning, foster awareness of one another’s needs, and create a healthy and secure bond with one another.
The Gottman Method is another approach to couple’s therapy that was created by John and Julie Gottman. The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman is a book that provides more information on this approach to helping couples with marriage. Therapists may pull from Gottmans’ work when administering couples counseling, there is also a certification that therapists may receive after extensive training in this particular method. Other approaches to couples counseling may include psychodynamic therapy, behavioral therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and more. There are a variety of techniques that a therapist may use, such as getting to know the couple, looking into their past, identifying solutions, and skill building.
Couples counseling may also focus on identifying love languages. The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts is a book by Gary Chapman that reviews love languages. These are different ways that people feel loved. Understanding your own love language and your partner’s love language can improve awareness, as it may better inform how to help one another feel loved and appreciated. The five love languages include words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Questionnaires and the book listed may help a person better understand their own love language.
Healthy relationships can require a lot of time, patience, and work, but couples counseling may offer hope when moving through challenges. There is a lot of beauty, companionship, and affection to be found in healthy romantic relationships and marriages. There are many other techniques that can help with relationships besides the ones listed here, but these may be helpful books and methods to look into for couples. If you are interested in couples counseling or marriage threrapy, please reach out to Sweetgrass Psychiatry in Mount Pleasant, SC or Isle of Palms, SC to see an in person or a virtual therapist.
Sources:
Chapman, G. D. (2010). The five love languages. Walker Large Print.
Feuerman, M. (2021, July 23). What is emotionally focused therapy (EFT)? Verywell Mind.
Gottman, J. (2000). The seven principles for making marriage work. Orion.